Thursday was The Dolly and The Bunny's last day of first grade.
Bryan and his girlfriend Alexis usually pick the munchkins
up from school on Thursdays and we all agreed a celebration
was in order. Alexis had her five year old son with her -
Zane-O-Mane and he had just finished his school year as well.
They all went off to play while I finished up some work.
When they returned we decided on the kids favorite Mexican
Now these children were plenty wound up from ice cream
on the last day of school, swimming AND jumping on the
trampoline, not to mention that Zany and the Bunny throw
down when they are together. A veritable tumbleweed of
feet and fists and laughter and sometimes tears.
We sat down to eat and things started getting a little rowdy.
All three were sharing a window bench and the boys were
next to each other. Lots of jockeying for position...
As soon as they finished we turned them out to play and we
finished our meal watching them right outside the window.
The Dolly came running in obviously distraught and rushed
right past me into Bryan's arms. It seems she and Zane-O had
collided and Dolly had caught his head with her upper lip.
She clung to Bryan and he hugged her hard as he whispered to her.
I brought her some ice for her bleeding, swelling lip and after
about five minutes she wanted to go back out and play.
Several things were revealed in this incident.
My daughter is so much tougher than her twin brother - who
knows how long that scene would have lasted if it had been him.
She didn't blame Zane - just said that they had run in to each
other and then quickly wanted to get back out and play with
him some more. Again, very different scenario if it had been
my dramatic and long suffering Bunny.
I felt a rush of emotion when she ran past me to Bryan for
comfort. My heart swelled with gratitude that these siblings
all love each other so much and I understand now how MOB
[Mom-of-Bryan] feels about all of us. When there is plenty of
love and an honest to goodness wanting of the best for all
there is no jealousy, only gratitude and tenderness for all
When the Dolly ran out I noticed that Bryan was misty eyed.
It had really choked him up that she was hurt and he wanted
to fix it and I think there was somewhat of an overwhelming
feeling about the depth of his emotions for his little siblings.
It is A Genuine Mutual Admiration Society.
I told him that he had just had a genuine taste of parenting,
wanting to take their pain for them, wanting to fix them up,
wanting them to never get hurt, wanting to protect them and
realizing at the same time that you can't.
And I thanked the universe and the gods of fertility and medicine
for my very unique family: a 30 year old birth son [of my high
school sweetheart] who I have had the singular pleasure of getting
to know for the last 10 years and been in the same city with for the
last two; amazingly beautiful and fun girl/boy 7 year old twins as a
result of in vitro fertilization that I birthed at the age of 42; one
crazy, verbal rescue labrador who makes me laugh several times
every single day; and a handsome, loving, funny husband who
embraces the whole lot of us.
And then of course, MOB, who taught Bryan that he was extra
special because he had two mothers who loved him so much.
She helped pave the way for our reunion.
And in this chaos, this clamor and crying and fighting, the shrieks
of laughter and the split lips and the scrapes, the wailing for
'Mommy!' or 'Daddy!' - there is a peace ...
and a stillness ...
and a little place deep in the recesses of this birth mother's heart
that has finally healed.
Labels: abundance, adoption, birth mother, Bryan, Bunny Rabbit, Dolly Llama, Mom-of-Bryan, parenting, reunion