Pieces of letters August 1-3 1999
These are pieces of some of the flurry of emails that were exchanged between MOB and I after the initial letter and up to Bryan's arrival here for the first time.
MOB August 1, 1999
...I would love to know the titles of the books you ordered. During the 'late 1970's' I think I read almost every book in print about adoption. I was bound and determined to do things right (I just had to find out what that was). Dan and I decided early on that we agreed with the philosophy that Bryan should know from day one that he was adopted. We would use the word adopted frequently enough during his early years, that it would be a 'comfortable' word, not a 'strange' word. We explained there was more than one way to start a family.
You are right. I do have conflicting emotions, however, I want you to know, my feelings are very positive. From what you have written to me and to Bryan (he has shared your correspondence) I am thrilled for him that you are welcoming this reunion, and I truly hope it will be positive for both of you. I know you both could benefit greatly from knowing each other, as you are both truly wonderful people. From my end, I am dying to meet you myself. (I have been even searching online airfares in case I get a telephone call that says to come) I have said many times over the years that I would love the opportunity to thank the wonderful lady who gave Dan and I such a precious gift. You shaped the direction our lives took 20+ years ago and for this we will be eternally grateful...
Me August 3, 1999
...The books came yesterday... Reading other women's stories is both painful and comforting to me. I didn't know if I'd ever hear from Bryan but always hoped I would. It is an incredibly intense experience so far and I haven't even met him yet. But it brings up a lot of pain and loss - things I thought were long since gone - but I guess they are just a part of me now and can't really ever leave. The beauty of this reunion is being able to see - and be a part of - the other side of the coin - the happy side. While I was going through the loss - you were going through incredible joy. I am both fascinated and sad when I hear about him - but as I said, I read and reread it - so you can tell me whatever you want. I think that after I meet him that I will have questions for you - right now he is still just a myth to me. I really feel that this is a great and healing thing for me - but it is bitter sweet...