The Letter - July 1999

Dear Merrily,

I've wanted to write this letter ever since I saw my own face smiling back at me. On April 1, 1997 my parents gave me the letters you sent them when I was eleven. I've thought about this letter alot since then. Only recently have I had the courage to attempt writing and I've found it is as difficult as I imagined. It's hard to put a lifetime of thoughts and feelings into sentences and paragraphs. I have to start somewhere though, because there is alot I want to tell you and alot I want to know about you.

I want you to know what think of you. I've always thought of you as a nice lady. But when I saw your face and read what you wrote about me and how considerate you were to my parents, I was overwhelmed. All the wondering...and you seem so sweet and so nice and so wonderful.

I want you to know that I've never regretted what you did when you were nineteen. I've always been proud to have been adopted. My parents always told me that somebody loved me enough to give me up and somebody loved me enough to take me, I've always believed that to be true. When I read what you wrote about loving me with all your might when you carried me I cried. I wondered why I was so lucky to have an angel bring me into this world.

I wonder how you're doing alot. How is [Mr. In-The-Wrong-Place-At-The-Wrong-Time]? How are your cats? (I'm allergic to cats.) How are you? Do you have any children? I thought about you on Mother's Day and wished you a happy one.

I've written this letter so may times. I really want it to be perfect, but it never seems to come out right. I wish I could meet you. I've always thought that one day I would like to meet you. And that's a big part of why I'm writing you now.

My best friend Melanie and I are taking a road trip around the country in August. We are going to stop in Atlanta for a few days in the middle of the month. If you aren't too busy and would like to meet then I would love it. Of course it's up to you. But if you would, you can send an email to my mom's address and I'll read it. Or if you want to send a letter, that's okay too. I just suggested email because we are leaving on the twenty-sixth [of July] and I don't know if a letter would get here in time. If this is too sudden of you don't have an interest in meeting me, I will understand. If that's the case, I would still like to communicate with you.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Love Bryan