Monday, January 18, 2010

and here's to you, Mr. Robertson...

My apologies to Simon and Garfunkel.

NPR (love me some NPR) had the following letter on their site - it says it ALL!!!





Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action.

But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished.
Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"?
If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll.
You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.
Best, Satan
(Submitted by LILY COYLE, MINNEAPOLIS)

4 Comments:

At January 18, 2010 at 4:40 PM , Blogger Karen said...

LOL.. OMG.. LOVE THIS!!! Is he the biggest idiot, or what. Do you mind if I repost on my blog, with appropriate recognition?

 
At January 18, 2010 at 5:28 PM , Blogger Laura ~Peach~ said...

GAH he went beyond stupid..

 
At January 18, 2010 at 8:08 PM , Blogger Blasé said...

Religion will screw up a person's mind even in the most subtle way.

 
At January 19, 2010 at 10:23 PM , Blogger Concord Carpenter said...

He's SUCH a jackass!

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home