Leaving a trail (1990)

Mr. and Mrs. Parents of My Birth Son,

You don't know me but you know of me..

My name is Merrily Down the Stream and I am the birth mother

of your son. I certainly don't want to frighten you - it has taken

me a long time to get up the nerve to even attempt to write

this letter. I hope I can do an adequate job of explaining

things so you won't be worried.

I would like you to know that I have never regretted what I

did when I was nineteen and I am grateful to you for taking

him and loving him and making him your own.

I just turned 31 in November and I find myself thinking

about him and wondering - is he OK? Does he look like me?

Are his eyes blue like mine? Is he creative? I don't even

know if he is alive or what his name is. I don't want to enter

into his life - if that is something that ever happens that

will be because he chooses it. I would just like to know for

my own peace of mind. Until very recently I always thought

of him as a baby - it's hard to imagine that there's an

11 year old boy walking around somewhere that I gave

birth to - a person!

I've been married for four and a half years and am getting

around to thinking about having children of my own. Maybe

that's why I am finally writing you. I will never try to contact

him. If he ever asks about me I hope you'll tell him that I

loved him with all my might when I carried him and when

I saw him in the nursery he was absolutely perfect and

beautiful and I knew I couldn't give him what I felt he needed.

I would love it and be so grateful if you would let me know

about him - a picture would be fantastic to have and anything

you would like to tell me about him would be greatly appreciated.

I thought maybe you would like to know something about me.

I've lived in Atlanta for 10 years now but am originally from

Minnesota, where I grew up in a big Irish-Catholic family of

7 kids - 3 boys and 4 girls! I am a graphic designer (I enclosed

a press release with my picture - its 2 years old) and am

planning to go out on my own as a freelance designer probably

in April - eventually I hope to have a design studio with real

live employees! I married a wonderful man named Mr. In-The-

Wrong-Place-At-The-Wrong-Time when I was 26 - he is a

designer too - and we have 2 great kitties.

I hope that I have not frightened you - I wish your family

all the best and send much love to you all. Please give your son

a kiss for me and have a wonderful Christmas season.

My address is:

Merrily Down the Stream

Fabulous Deal of a duplex

Atlanta

Merrily