Reply to the Scouting Letter

The words I hadn't dared hope I might hear [or read]

someday.

I called my sister K, trying to choke out the words...

'He wants to contact me.'

Surely there must be miracles because this is what one

must feel like.

July 15, 1999

[I responded by snail mail AND email to be double sure]

Dear Mom-of-Bryan,

A friend of mine lives in my old duplex and phoned me

yesterday to say that I had received a letter from you.

At first I was frightened that it may be bad news but it

was the most amazing news of all. I would be very

honored to hear from Bryan - it is something I have only

allowed myself to half hope for.

Your note was very sweet and I feel so incredibly grateful

to you for taking him and giving him all the things every

child deserves. I would love to communicate with you as

well. My new address is:

Merrily Down the Stream

Cute-1925-House-Under-Constant-Renovation

Deep South

I look forward to hearing from both of you and I am so

happy you are all well.

Sincerely,

Merrily

and now I wait...

Leaving a trail (1990)

Mr. and Mrs. Parents of My Birth Son,

You don't know me but you know of me..

My name is Merrily Down the Stream and I am the birth mother

of your son. I certainly don't want to frighten you - it has taken

me a long time to get up the nerve to even attempt to write

this letter. I hope I can do an adequate job of explaining

things so you won't be worried.

I would like you to know that I have never regretted what I

did when I was nineteen and I am grateful to you for taking

him and loving him and making him your own.

I just turned 31 in November and I find myself thinking

about him and wondering - is he OK? Does he look like me?

Are his eyes blue like mine? Is he creative? I don't even

know if he is alive or what his name is. I don't want to enter

into his life - if that is something that ever happens that

will be because he chooses it. I would just like to know for

my own peace of mind. Until very recently I always thought

of him as a baby - it's hard to imagine that there's an

11 year old boy walking around somewhere that I gave

birth to - a person!

I've been married for four and a half years and am getting

around to thinking about having children of my own. Maybe

that's why I am finally writing you. I will never try to contact

him. If he ever asks about me I hope you'll tell him that I

loved him with all my might when I carried him and when

I saw him in the nursery he was absolutely perfect and

beautiful and I knew I couldn't give him what I felt he needed.

I would love it and be so grateful if you would let me know

about him - a picture would be fantastic to have and anything

you would like to tell me about him would be greatly appreciated.

I thought maybe you would like to know something about me.

I've lived in Atlanta for 10 years now but am originally from

Minnesota, where I grew up in a big Irish-Catholic family of

7 kids - 3 boys and 4 girls! I am a graphic designer (I enclosed

a press release with my picture - its 2 years old) and am

planning to go out on my own as a freelance designer probably

in April - eventually I hope to have a design studio with real

live employees! I married a wonderful man named Mr. In-The-

Wrong-Place-At-The-Wrong-Time when I was 26 - he is a

designer too - and we have 2 great kitties.

I hope that I have not frightened you - I wish your family

all the best and send much love to you all. Please give your son

a kiss for me and have a wonderful Christmas season.

My address is:

Merrily Down the Stream

Fabulous Deal of a duplex

Atlanta

Merrily