Wednesday, April 1, 2009

It's my child's birthday

Today is Bryan's 30th birthday. 

Several years ago Mom-of-Bryan [MOB] sent me this from an 
Ann Landers column. Her mother had given it to her back in 
1980 [the year of Bryan's first birthday] and MOB had carried 
it in her wallet until it fell apart so the beginning of it is 

...child we adopted will celebrate a first birthday then.

Amidst the joy and preparation of adoptive parents, people 
have a tendency to forget the heartache that was suffered by 
the birth mother when she parted with her child.

This poem is a reminder to all adoptive parents everywhere 
that a very big price was paid by a selfless woman who gave 
up her precious baby so he or she could have a better life.
                                        - Please no name or state, Just Grateful


It's my child's birthday
He just went dashing by
His eyes are sparkling with the excitement meant only for today.
Presents, kisses, hugs, cake, ice cream
It all seems so natural.
It's a day of looking back and looking forward.
But there is something different happening inside of me.
This should be a day of complete joy
A day of thanksgiving
But in the midst of all this excitement
I pause because my thoughts are about someone 
else for a time.
It's my child's birthday
I have no memories of his life growing inside me and 
fighting to be released.
Another someone was there
Another someone suffered for my joy.
It's my child's birthday
But someone somewhere is feeling emptiness inside,
If he is big or small
Wondering if he laughs much
It's my child's birthday
And in the midst of this blessed day that was given to me,
I have a prayer,
Oh, God, that I may never forget that someone suffered 
so much to give life to my child. 
That someone loved my child so very much that she gave 
him the right to live. 
May I never forget for a moment and especially now, today, to 
offer a prayer of thanks for someone, and that you, dear God, 
will always be there for that someone to help her through the 
hurts she will have when she stops to think that 

'Today is my child's birthday'. 


Thank you MOB, I love you.

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At April 1, 2009 at 10:15 AM , Blogger natasha the exile on Mom Street said...

Darn it! I just put my make-up on and now I'm sobbing it right off.

As many horrible things as she has done, and as much pain as she put us through, I will never, *ever* be able to repay Grasshopper's birthmother for what she gave us, when she gave him life.

Blessings to you, and to Bryan, on a very big birthday.

At April 1, 2009 at 10:26 AM , Blogger The Sour Kraut said...

I'm weeping now too. So true. What a selfless act.

At April 1, 2009 at 11:24 AM , Blogger jazzystepper said...

Happy Birthday to all of us! Love, MOB

At April 1, 2009 at 2:06 PM , Blogger Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

I never thought of an adopted child's birthday in that way. Thanks so much for sharing that. It was wonderful!

At April 1, 2009 at 5:04 PM , Blogger Laura ~Peach~ said...

Happy Birthday Brian...what a wonderful post... we have loads to catch up on...:)

At April 1, 2009 at 8:40 PM , Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

Here's to dreams coming true!

(and this is the full text)

At April 1, 2009 at 10:57 PM , Blogger Debbie said...

What a sweet thing to have and for her to do to send it to you. But, it pales to the gift you gave her of course.

At April 2, 2009 at 12:31 AM , Blogger undercover caterer said...

Awww. That is sweet.

And how convenient that you now have all of the offspring's birthdays taken care of, all in one week!

At April 2, 2009 at 12:50 PM , Blogger Jen - Queen of Poo said...

What a special thing for MOB to share with you. How lucky you all are to have each other in your lives now.

At April 2, 2009 at 4:11 PM , Blogger MamaGeek @ Works For Us said...

Oh this just moves my heart, this was beautiful.

At April 2, 2009 at 6:53 PM , Blogger kim-d said...

That is so beautiful. How blessed Bryan must feel, to have two wonderful Moms.


At April 3, 2009 at 12:38 PM , Blogger Mama Goose said...

You all are so, so blessed. Happy (belated) Birthday Bryan, Merrily and MOB! It's a special day for all of you.

At April 4, 2009 at 2:30 PM , Blogger Karen said...

My son's birthday was March 10. He was 39 years old. There has not be a day since he was born that I did not wonder where he was, how he was doing, were his adoptive parents loving him and being good to him? Thanks for posting that poem. Of course it made me cry, but it did my heart good to know that someone else knows how I feel.

At April 7, 2009 at 1:01 PM , Blogger carols travel said...

How beautiful is that...You have a gift for expressing life and love in the most precious ways.

At June 1, 2009 at 8:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

As an adoptive mother this really moved me! I never take my daughter's birth mother for granted, ever. I have cried for her on my daughter's birthday. The source of one of the most precious joys I will ever know came at a great cost to her. She is ever in my hopes and prayers. My daughter is from China, where women have great difficulties in so many, many ways. I may never know who she is, but I will never forget her. We have shared mothering the same child in this lifetime.


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