Flummoxed...

'Hello?'

'Hi Merrily - it's MK'

'Are you alright?'

'I'm in the hospital - my biopsies revealed I have 

cancer in both lungs'

"Oooh, MK..."

Camera zooms in on Merrily as background fades 

and zooms away from her.

Only this is not a movie.

This is Thursday morning. 

And MK is worried about Dim...

I've know MK's husband Uncle Dim [as my young twins 

called him] since 1980 when we both arrived for art 

school.The school had rented half of an apartment 

complex to house the students and Dim and his 

roommates lived right next door to me and mine.

It was party at first sight.

Dim and his roommate JS were in Visual Communications 

as was I. JS was second year but Dim was first like me. 

We were in school together for 2 years.

We hung out together, partied together, vacationed 

together. We had a group of about 10 in our posse. 

Wild we were.

Dim looked like Roger Daltry, long curly blonde hair 

and he had a girlfriend in Columbus GA he called his 

'chick' [he will deny this if you ask him but it is the 

truth]. He was the first real southern boy I ever met - 

he was bonafide. At one point we considered dating 

but decided against it.

Over time jobs and moves and loves split most of us 

up. Ironically the midwestern girl stayed [that would 

be me].

In 1996 I was working at the Olympics when I heard a 

familiar male voice call my name. It was Dim with a 

date. He kept saying ‘you look exactly how I thought 

you would.’ He introduced me to MK, an Irish-Catholic 

girl from a big family up north. She had dark hair and 

impossibly merry blue eyes – black Irish as my mother 

would say. We chatted for awhile and exchanged 

numbers promising to get together.

MK told me later that she asked Dim if she was some 

weird sort of replacement for me.

I was dating Gapetto and we planned an evening out 

with them. We enjoyed ourselves and promised to do 

more together.

They got married in Rochester and a year or two later 

we were married here and moved into our house. 

We began hanging out in earnest. MK and I decided we 

were Evil Party Twins [or EPTs] - we seemed to just 

have way to much fun together and would generally 

pay for it the next morning. They took to packing 

overnight bags when they came over sometimes not 

leaving for three days.

And then.

MK’s job took them to Jacksonville. We had tickets to 

visit them before they even moved. We cried...

‘I thought we would raise our children together.’

I was going for the jugular.

They were just gone a year or two before they moved 

back. I helped Dim find their house before MK even 

moved back here – it is about 4 miles from ours.

I finally became pregnant and had the twins. Dim and 

MK were first on the call list. MK came on her lunch 

hour and was the very first to see them and hold them. 

We discovered later that she more than likely conceived 

that week as she had a little girl 9 months later. Life 

was changing like crazy but we were on parallel tracks.

And then. 

Our husbands both seemed to go through some mid-life 

type thing and were getting rather argumentative 

with each other. Dim and MK were making lots of new 

friends in their new neighborhood. MK and I vowed 

that our husbands’ spats would not interfere with our 

friendship but of course we didn’t spend as much 

time together. 

I missed her.

Just lately we had started to do things again. She was 

going in for the biopsies and the doctors were sure 

they would rule out cancer. They are very surprised 

with the results - as we all are.

MK is 41 years old.

She is a fighter.

She will have a PET scan soon and then will begin 

very aggressive chemo treatments. 

The cancer is inoperable. 

It has not been staged yet.

She is a fighter.

Her daughter is six years old. Her whole life is ahead 

of her and MK will want to be there.

She is a fighter.

I will be there to help – however I can – with her 

innumerable other friends.

She is a fighter.

And I am flummoxed...

When irish eyes are smiling...

Laura, my girl over at Are we there yet mummy tagged me to do 

the photo blogstep challenge.

The rules are: go the the 4th folder on your computer where 

you store your pics and pick the 4th photo in it; explain the 

picture and tag 4 others.

Unfortunate arrangement of photos wouldn't you say? As my 

brother R would have said at the time 'what a skag!' I really don't 

know what that EXACTLY meant but it had something to do with 

being unattractive. I have clearly not grown into my teeth yet and 

am long and gangly - I shot up in height very quickly.

This is me at the ripe old age of 9 with my very most favorite uncle 

when I was young - Uncle Tom. He and his wife, my favorite Aunt 

Louise could not have children so they adopted - 2 boys. Aunt Louise 

and my mother are sisters and were very close. They lived a state 

away which seemed very far at the time. We are at a lake 

cabin on vacation in this photo.

Uncle Tom was famous for making us laugh. He would sit you on 

his lap - have you look into his ridiculously mischievous Irish eyes 

and dare you not to laugh before his finger touched your nose. 

Nobody could ever do it.

He and Aunt Louise were so in love - they were my role models 

for marriage and for life. 

They delighted in each others company. 

They would hold hands when they walked. 

They both had a joie de vivre.

Uncle Tom had a stroke at 42 that he survived long before this 

photo was taken. His face was just a little bit lopsided and he 

couldn't play the piano anymore but he really made a miraculous 

recovery. And he lived life as though each day was his last.

He made me feel beautiful.

When he died years later I wrote Aunt Louise of my admiration of 

their marriage. She told my mom I wrote her a beautiful letter. 

When my mother asked her what it said she wouldn't tell her. 

I love her even more for that.

She thought every day with Uncle Tom was a gift. And she thanked God that she had him as long as she did.

Here is to the amazing people who shape our lives - in a good way.

Now go out and enjoy the day.

I tag:

Jax over at Student_Kiwi_Nurse - she just did her first post -

go visit her and say hi

Su at Travels with Charlie

My cous over at Undercover Caterer

and The Yew Nork Babe.