Tuesday, April 28, 2009

My name is Merrily and

Hi. My name is Merrily and I am a chocoholic.

Hi Merrily.

I haven’t had a piece of chocolate in three days. 

Oh wait.

I had a fozen cafe mocha this afternoon.  

Okay. Okay. 

I haven’t had chocolate in 6 hours and 

37 minutes.

I guess it all started on my first birthday. 

I was sitting in my high chair minding my own 

business when an enormous piece of chocolate 

cake was placed on my tray in front of me. 

I tried one little morsel of that chocolate and 

it was off to the races! I was so giddy with the 

flavor I could barely hit my mouth - I slathered 

it on my face and in my hair and up and down 

my arms. And I began my secret plotting to get 

more of this incredible stuff, this manna from 

heaven, this food of the gods.

Halloweens were always tough for me. 

My sisters and I would sort all of our candy 

to see who made the best score. We would 

negotiate and trade and bicker and eat. 

My candy would be gone in no time. 

I would steal a piece here and there from 

different sisters so as not to be discovered.

And Easter? Oh the torture. My oldest sister 

would wait until my chocolate bunny was 

devoured before pulling hers out untouched. 

Licking its ears and taunting me about my 

long gone bunny. Oh, she was relentless all 

right but when I was 12 I outgrew her (no 

doubt with a little help from my chocolate) 

and she was afraid to tease me anymore.

My mother taught me how to make her 

infamous fudge. I was the only one she taught 

because it was so hard to judge the timing and 

she knew I would stick with it. It required 

stirring for about an hour after it was cooked 

to achieve the right consistency. All the while 

I would pull the full spoon up like she taught 

me, letting the thickening elixer slowly pour  

[over my finger] into the pot. By the time that 

fudge cured my stomach would ache. 

Ah but I was sated.

When I was sixteen I got a job at a little cafe 

that made hand rolled chocolates. I walked in 

the back room and discovered the large vats 

of chocolate cooling. If I waited until just the 

right moment I could pull the long spoon out 

and break off a hunk of the stuff before it 

hardened too much. [I know my chocolate, 

yessiree] I would put it in my apron 

pocket and gnaw on it all day. Good times. 

Good times.

Well I could go on and on but it was when I 

began nibbling on semi-sweet Baker's chocolate 

squares that I knew I'd hit rock bottom. I mean 

where do you go from there - dumpster diving 

for wrappers to lick?

So I stand in front of you today a broken woman. 

I can't stop - I need help. 

It will take something greater than me to make 

this craving go away. 

Does any body have any heroin???

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At April 28, 2009 at 9:01 PM , Blogger Stella said...

Heroin is too much work. Go with something easier and simpler.

I love peanut butter. More than life itself at points. I seriously love peanut butter. Sweet and savory. With chocolate. Without chocolate. With jelly on bread. On my fingers. On apples. I ADORE peanut butter.

At April 29, 2009 at 12:09 AM , Blogger Laura ~Peach~ said...

geeee you need some dove...and just go with it... I am as addicted to chocolate as i ever was drugs or alcohol... gads i can just see my fat butt in a chocolate factory... they would have to break walls down to get me out... OH MY GOD!

At April 29, 2009 at 12:20 AM , Blogger devilishsouthernbelle.net said...

I love my chocolate, but I don't quite share your level of passion for it!

I just blog-hopped over here from Oh, The Joys.

Loved reading your post & can't wait to check out some more ;)

At April 29, 2009 at 2:13 AM , Blogger Mary Ellen said...

They say that admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery, but, try as I might, I can't see anything at all wrong with an addiction to chocolate.

Dear Chocolate:
If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right.

At April 29, 2009 at 7:47 AM , Blogger natasha the exile on Mom Street said...

Mmmm chocolate.

Did you say anything after chocolate? 'Cause if you did, I missed it ;)

At April 29, 2009 at 8:47 AM , Blogger Mommy2Joe said...

I am one of the lucky few who is pretty impervious to the Chocolate Spell. But I never met something salty that I didn't like. Salt and Vinegar potato chips. Kettle cooked peanuts bathing in sea salt. Heck, even a saltine cracker will do in a pinch. Perhaps I was a hamster in a previous life?

At April 29, 2009 at 9:14 AM , Blogger Mama Goose said...

Great. Thanks a bunch. It's now 9 AM and I'm craving chocolate. My day is shot.

At April 29, 2009 at 11:59 AM , Blogger Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

Clearly you need a chocolate intervention!

At April 29, 2009 at 2:14 PM , Blogger undercover caterer said...

I miss Costa's (?) and chocolate caramel cake!!! Yum! Just accept it--it's way cheaper than drugs and more readily available.

At April 29, 2009 at 4:24 PM , Blogger MamaGeek @ Works For Us said...

I'm with Stella. You just CAN'T go wrong with peanut butter.

*As I down a handful of chocolate chips*

At April 29, 2009 at 7:55 PM , Blogger natasha the exile on Mom Street said...

I'm looking forward to a mocha with you in the morning :)

At April 30, 2009 at 10:08 AM , Blogger Krystyn said...

That is too funny!

I love that you blame it on your first piece of chocolate cake. It's a good thing I just let my daughter have vanilla!!

Give in...eat some chocolate already. You brain will thank you.

At April 30, 2009 at 10:12 PM , Blogger the mama bird diaries said...

If you find the answer, let me know. I'm right there with you.

At April 30, 2009 at 10:53 PM , Blogger Coal Miner's Granddaughter said...

There is nothing, NOTHING wrong with being a chocoholic. Revel in it. Roll in it. Eat it until you burst.

It's all good. :)

At May 1, 2009 at 9:39 AM , Blogger ♥ Braja said...

Why give up? I don't see the problem. Just keep eating chocolate. Simple.

At May 1, 2009 at 10:36 AM , Blogger Debbie said...

But don't they now tell us that dark chocolate is good for us? I say switch to that and never look back:)

At May 1, 2009 at 9:29 PM , Blogger Hit 40 said...

I vowed I would eat well today and stay on my diet. I have in front of me chocolate birthday cake with raspberry filling. And... a tall glass of milk.

I had forgotten about the diet until I saw your chocolate post. I will eat my cake anyway.

I think rock bottom... is definitely squirting chocolate syrup directly in your mouth from the fridge. So, you have not hit the rocks yet.

At May 4, 2009 at 3:42 PM , Blogger Such Lovely Freckles said...

This post could be mine, minus Halloween. No Halloween in Germany, but we did have carnival... with parades and lots of chocolate. Add to that the fact, that I lived near Switzerland, THE ultimate chocolate country, and you have a recipe for disaster.

At May 6, 2009 at 2:24 PM , Blogger Kim said...

Mmmmm, and to think I started my diet today. Geesh!

At May 6, 2009 at 8:37 PM , Blogger Jen - Queen of Poo said...

Thankfully I am not all that into chocolate, but I have other addictions that are just as insidious. lol

At May 12, 2009 at 2:54 PM , Blogger carols travel said...

Chocolate with bananas, apples and pecans peanuts and it's okay if i balance it out with something good for me. I love it with Ginger these days and i keep a bar in my bedroom drawer and just have a piece now and then. Sometime's i forget about it and when i open the drawer, it's a sweet suprise. It's like a friend that gives me comfort.


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