Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Penises and powerlessness...

Spring break is over - praise the Lord and pass 

the mescaline! The Bunny Rabbit and The Dolly 

Llama were wearing each other out - way too much 

togetherness. And frankly they were about on my 

last nerve.

They were bickering and telling on each other and 

generally just being really sick of each others face. 

I heard them squabbling the other day and the Dolly 

ran in to tell on the Bunny.

‘Mommy? The Bunny kicked me in the penis.’

‘You don’t have a penis Dolly.’

[pregnant pause]

We all dissolve into laughter...

Perhaps a brief anatomy lesson would be in order?

                                  * * * * *

Friday night I saw The Old Crow Medicine Show at 

The Fabulous Fox Theater in Atlanta with The Husband 

Understudy. It was as raucous and rowdy and down-home-

kick-arse-show as you ever want to see. I’ve been all 

‘y’all’ and ‘fixin’ to’ and ‘your mom-n-’em’ ever since.

                                  * * * * *

We’ve been having some VERY irratic weather here 

in The Deep South - I know y’all Up North are feeling 

extra sorry for me but we often get all four seasons 

every week. Occasionally we get weather that we are 

clearly not meant to be getting. Back in the early 90’s 

we got a hurricane through here and we are at least a 

five or six hour drive from the ocean any way you slice 

it. And I drive pretty fast. I lost all power for one week. 

Seems a big ole tree tangled with some powerlines and 

phone lines, tore the lines apart and made a fierce 

little electrical fire. I could see the white light where 

the live wire lay on the ground from 10 houses away. 

There were little fires all along the wires strung between 

the poles. I walked by the spot the next day where the 

heat had turned the sand on the ground to glass. 

Now THAT is something you don’t see every day. 

Unless you are a glass blower. Even then I expect 

you’d have a day off here and there.

Lately we’ve been having some humdinger storms. 

Wind and drenching rains and thunder and lightening. 

So much rain they say our drought is over. Problem 

with earth soaking rains and powerful gusts of winds 

after a drought is trees tend to up and tip over. 


Our neighbors tree tipped over smack dab on some power 

lines and a utility pole today. The utility pole snapped in 

two, the guy wire broke in the middle, all of that mess 

smashed 3 out of 4 of their next door neighbors cars and 

left a chunk of us without power. Apparently this happened 

all over the city.

Needless to say I am writing this by candlelight on a 

battery operated computer. I guess we’ll be getting power 

back sometime tomorrow. Until then I will be lulled to 

sleep by the neighbors LOUD ancient generator and the 

constant traffic being redirected to our street on account 

of the downed trees and power lines over on the main road. 

And I will be in seclusion - I am nothing without my blow dryer...

Power was restored sometime in the middle of the night...

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At April 14, 2009 at 10:05 AM , Blogger natasha the exile on Mom Street said...

Trees down over here too. Two houses on my street have trees splitting them into pieces and so I don't really feel right complaining about power outages and potty training hell.

But I'm doing it anyway.

At April 14, 2009 at 10:11 AM , Blogger The Sour Kraut said...

Ooh. I love storms but just when they're passing through, not leaving destruction in their path.

Yeah, I know what you're going through with the kids. I think it's worse when there are only two. No other distractions so they have to focus on the other one. Ugh. I am endlessly saying, "I will not be your referee." Doesn't seem to work.

Glad to hear you (and your hair) are back in business.

At April 14, 2009 at 10:42 AM , Blogger Laura ~Peach~ said...

same mess up here in mid east northern GA LOL.... did you figure out where that may be LMAO.... thank God I never cared about the hair dryer I am a wash and brush kind of gal...
trees down everywhere here too!
Giggles about the penis' TOoo flippin funny!

At April 14, 2009 at 10:52 AM , Blogger Such Lovely Freckles said...

I hear ya on the blow dryer. It's the same for me. :)

Dolly's little penis lesson though, SO funny!

At April 14, 2009 at 11:31 AM , Blogger Leendaluu said...

And that is why I don't camp. No lights and more importantly....NO BLOW DRYERS. Hello, I live in the 21st century. I am not Laura fucking Ingall Wilder

At April 14, 2009 at 1:36 PM , Blogger Mary Ellen said...

It's hard to feel sorry for you southerners, but once in a while....

Hope your power is restored quickly!

At April 14, 2009 at 4:42 PM , Blogger I am Harriet said...

I'm with ya.

Stopping by from SITS.

At April 15, 2009 at 2:28 PM , Blogger Mama Goose said...

Goodness! Weather can be so awesome and so devastating. After an icestorm this year our backyard view is dramatically different. Like a war zone. Glad you made out okay with just some candlelight time.

At April 16, 2009 at 11:54 AM , Blogger EatPlayLove said...

Oh my goodness too funny! And I think you just described our weather here as well, totally crazy! Yesterday it was 70 and tomorrow it's going to snow. I think I am officially over it.

At April 16, 2009 at 1:29 PM , Blogger ed said...

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At April 16, 2009 at 4:07 PM , Blogger MamaGeek @ Works For Us said...

Oh THAT? Would sucketh.

I'm still smirking over the penis lesson, that is just 32 flavors of funny!

At April 16, 2009 at 8:58 PM , Blogger L~ said...

I was reading your post and talking in twang in my head, like they do in the movies. That was waaayyy entertaining, seriously! Hope your little girls penis get better soon!

At April 16, 2009 at 11:50 PM , Blogger the mama bird diaries said...

By candlelight? I'm very impressed with your commitment to the blog.

At April 17, 2009 at 7:55 AM , Blogger A. K. said...

Great Blog You Have Here

At April 17, 2009 at 10:31 AM , Blogger Krystyn said...

I'm glad you got your power back. We had trees down all over the place, too!

And, yes, that anatomy lesson is definitely in order!

At April 18, 2009 at 3:22 PM , Blogger Hit 40 said...

You need a camp lantern. They rock in a power outage!!!

No electricity at my place - still means light to do homework!!!

At April 18, 2009 at 7:12 PM , Blogger Debbie said...

These southern storms are powerful, aren't they. I love the penis comment!

At April 19, 2009 at 10:54 AM , Blogger kim-d said...

Penises and powerlessness, huh? Well, at least you're not powerless over the penis. At least, not that you're telling us about. ;)

Even without power and benefit of a blow dryer, I am still comforted by the fact that DOLLY DOES NOT HAVE A PENIS. BWAHAHAHA...oh yeah, Anatomy 101 comin' up!

I have missed commenting to you so much! I'm gonna try to get around a little more...clearly, college is meant for 18-year-olds for a reason. :)

At April 20, 2009 at 2:24 PM , Blogger Reluctant Housewife said...

Big trees tipping over - scary. Glad you have power again.


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