Somebody stop me!

I cannot believe that this soon after finishing this I decided to

tackle that pesky hallway floor.

Gapetto and I moved into this cute little house almost 12 years ago.

Just prior to moving in I had some ceiling dry walled (over the old

plaster - a move I have come to regret - but that is for another blog)

and the floors refinished. Because I like making things incredibly

complex I had the floor guys leave the hallway floor bare as in no

finish as in buck-nekkid. You see I do custom floor designs,

admittedly pretty much exclusively for me, and I had some amazing

ideas for that floor.

Well weeks turned to months and months turned to years and guess

what?I never did do that effing floor. Thank goodness my mother-out-

law had replaced the thin sheet of plastic with some sensible (ugly)

but durable outdoor carpet of the brown variety to protect all that

nekkidness.

In the meantime Ihad done a pretty funky floor in my kitchen just a

few steps away.

Pretty much negating any of the ideas I'd had for the hall.

So.

My kids did not return to school UNTIL TODAY. Luckily

Grammy and Poppy took them up to the lake for a few

VERY cold days so I decided to finally tackle that dern floor.

I decided on a simple inlaid mahogany look. Done with

stains - not mahogany. (Remember? Champagne taste -

beer budget?) It turned out amazing. In fact The Husband

Understudy stopped by and thought I had laid the whole

floor with a mix of woods! Woot! Woot!

Now I have to strip the dang baseboards sand and paint

and replace the toe mold and then the walls will need

patching and the ceiling should really be painted and

then there's the den wall and the ceiling that has some a water damage

and I wanted to build that window seat with the book shelves all around

it and........................................................................

Penises and powerlessness...

Spring break is over - praise the Lord and pass 

the mescaline! The Bunny Rabbit and The Dolly 

Llama were wearing each other out - way too much 

togetherness. And frankly they were about on my 

last nerve.

They were bickering and telling on each other and 

generally just being really sick of each others face. 

I heard them squabbling the other day and the Dolly 

ran in to tell on the Bunny.

‘Mommy? The Bunny kicked me in the penis.’

‘You don’t have a penis Dolly.’

[pregnant pause]

We all dissolve into laughter...

Perhaps a brief anatomy lesson would be in order?

                                  * * * * *

Friday night I saw The Old Crow Medicine Show at 

The Fabulous Fox Theater in Atlanta with The Husband 

Understudy. It was as raucous and rowdy and down-home-

kick-arse-show as you ever want to see. I’ve been all 

‘y’all’ and ‘fixin’ to’ and ‘your mom-n-’em’ ever since.

                                  * * * * *

We’ve been having some VERY irratic weather here 

in The Deep South - I know y’all Up North are feeling 

extra sorry for me but we often get all four seasons 

every week. Occasionally we get weather that we are 

clearly not meant to be getting. Back in the early 90’s 

we got a hurricane through here and we are at least a 

five or six hour drive from the ocean any way you slice 

it. And I drive pretty fast. I lost all power for one week. 

Seems a big ole tree tangled with some powerlines and 

phone lines, tore the lines apart and made a fierce 

little electrical fire. I could see the white light where 

the live wire lay on the ground from 10 houses away. 

There were little fires all along the wires strung between 

the poles. I walked by the spot the next day where the 

heat had turned the sand on the ground to glass. 

Now THAT is something you don’t see every day. 

Unless you are a glass blower. Even then I expect 

you’d have a day off here and there.

Lately we’ve been having some humdinger storms. 

Wind and drenching rains and thunder and lightening. 

So much rain they say our drought is over. Problem 

with earth soaking rains and powerful gusts of winds 

after a drought is trees tend to up and tip over. 

BIG trees. OAK TREES.

Our neighbors tree tipped over smack dab on some power 

lines and a utility pole today. The utility pole snapped in 

two, the guy wire broke in the middle, all of that mess 

smashed 3 out of 4 of their next door neighbors cars and 

left a chunk of us without power. Apparently this happened 

all over the city.

Needless to say I am writing this by candlelight on a 

battery operated computer. I guess we’ll be getting power 

back sometime tomorrow. Until then I will be lulled to 

sleep by the neighbors LOUD ancient generator and the 

constant traffic being redirected to our street on account 

of the downed trees and power lines over on the main road. 

And I will be in seclusion - I am nothing without my blow dryer...

Power was restored sometime in the middle of the night...

Of Music and Mullets

Gapetto (The Keeper) and I had our 10th 

wedding anniversary on the 18th. I don’t 

know about you but I haven’t done anything
(or anyone!) consistently for 10 years until 

now. We decided to go for a long weekend 

to Nashville. That’s right, Nashville. 

If anyone has looked at my bio or met me 

they know I love twangy women: Allison Krauss, 

Shawn Colvin, Nancy Griffith, Beth Orton, etc.

Now I don’t think I mentioned this before 

but my husband is a saint (occasionally). 

He’s never much cared for my music
but he knew I have been wanting to go 

up there. Generally I go see my girls with 

our good friend who I’ll call The Husband
Understudy. He says and I quote,

“It’s all the work, none of the perks.”

I’d say bless his heart but he loves 

the music as much as I do. And he knows

he’s always got someone to go with him.

But getting back to Gapetto and me. 

We did all the touristy stuff - which there 

is ALOT of. We went to the Country Music
Hall of Fame, Studio B (where we sat at 

the very piano that Elvis warmed up on), 

we tried on cowboy boots and hats, even 

a mullet cap (did NOT purchase that).

(He's all mine Ladies!)

We went to Cooter’s and had my picture 

taken next to General Lee. It’s amazing how 

I have made it nearly 49 years in this life without
knowing who the heck The Dukes of Hazzard 

were. I am sorry that I couldn’t keep that 

streak going, frankly.

As I once asked Gapetto when we were dating

“Didn’t your mother ever make you play outside?!?”

The man knows his television.

And we listened to music. 

Sweet, Sweet Music. We heard a guy
named Mike Farris who sings the most 

raucous, New Orleans style gospel 

I’ve ever heard and he ain’t bad for 

a white boy, in fact he is amazing. 

It was like being at a rock concert - loud!
Good and Loud! Love him! They were 

recording live that night for his upcoming 

album so the place was going wild and 

me and Gapetto were too. 

He liked him, he really liked him.

And of course, everywhere we turned we saw Elvis.

If I had a nickel for every picture, full 

size mannequin and cut-out we saw 

of Elvis I might have been able to 

pay for a tank of gas. Maybe.

And we slept! We slept in till 8:30 or 

9:00 everyday and that was on Central time. 

Ah, sweet sleep. Without the Dolly Llama 

and the Bunny Rabbit the only reason to 

get out of bed was because Gapetto 

can't sit still. He has got to get up and go. 

And go we did.

Happy Anniversary to us.