After my heart

The Bunny: Mom, you're like one of the best mom's.


Me: How's that Honey?


The Bunny: 'Cause you're like exciting and crazy!

pocket treasures 03.04.11

discovered pre washing machine

one halographic dinosaur card

three pretty rocks

four chair casters that look amazingly like space ships

that's what little boys are made of

happy valentine's day 02.14.11

the Bunny Rabbit went to a sleep-over birthday party last night

so the Dolly invited her Bestie for a sleep-over

valentine waffles

for breakfast

preparing 02.11.11

last night we made valentines 

for all of the twinkies classmates

while they were at school today I made theirs

with love

the all great and powerful Oz

I know that women have been making babies 

since the beginning of time...

Bryan

The Bunny Rabbit

The Dolly Llama

but sometimes I look at these beautiful beings

and I think

you know I really nailed this thing...

Apples and trees

Here is the Bunny Rabbit in his birthday haul finery...
(that is the Dolly up in the cherry tree looking severely uninterested)

Here is his father Gapetto on Halloween...

Have I made myself clear?

Their miraculous selves

Years ago when West Wing was in it's hey day [and I - a rabid fan] Bradley Whitford won an Emmy for best supporting actor in a series. 
I will never forget what he said about his children in his acceptance speech.


I'd like to thank my children for their miraculous selves and for saving my wife and I from lives of terminal self involvement.


Touché Bradley. Touché.


Happy 8th birthday Bunny and Dolly!

About last night

The Bunny Rabbit seems to be going through some boundary stretching exercises.


He gets into his share of trouble because he has an attention span of about a nano second. But he is sweet and loving and really a very good boy at heart.


We have been talking about his moods lately. He seems to think everyone is out to get him. And he is argumentative and questions authority (me) which doesn't sit well with Momma.


Yesterday his teacher took me aside to tell me of his behavior at school.


Same story.


So last night Gapetto and I had a Big Talk with him.


First we assured him that we love him. Then we asked him if anything is bothering him.


Then we asked if he was frustrated. He allowed that he was but was unable to put it into words.


We proceeded with the rest.


Respect. Obedience. Being kind. Doing as you are told. How you might handle things differently.


He began to cry and said everyone was getting him into trouble.


We talked about owning your own actions. About doing the right thing. About thinking independently of your friends.


We hugged and this Mommy was misty eyed.


An hour or so later I saw him alone in the den.


I went in to hug him and I told him I loved him again.


He looked me straight in the eye and asked a little peevishly,


'What were we TALKING ABOUT in there?'

Apparently it's contagious

I am originally from Minnesota and you know what they say

'you can take the girl out of Minnesota but you can't take

the Minnesota out of the girl'

They say that right?

Anyway apparently it is contagious.

Just look at this photo of my husband Gapetto with

The Bunny Rabbit and the Dolly Llama.

If that hat isn't Minnesotan I don't know what is.

It makes me laugh every time it graces his head

Oh JEEZ!

My Little Holiday Helpers

THIS is what my holidays are all about!

Full Moon Fever

The other night we were all gathered on my bed (Gapetto's too),

the kids were freshly bathed and spirits were running high in

anticipation of One Upcoming December 25th Morning.

The Bunny was bent over reaching for something and we got a

peak of his lily-white rear end. After some good natured teasing

the Bunny-man stood up, facing away from us and acted out

[in LIVING color] the phases of the moon.

Pants pulled down revealing a sliver of rear end:

'Waxing Crescent'

Pants pulled down revealing half of rear end:

'First quarter'

Pants pulled down revealing most of rear end:

'Waxing gibbous'

Pants pulled down revealing ALL of rear end:

'Full Moon'

And the Reverse...

Pants pulled up slightly revealing most of rear end:

"Waning gibbous'

Pants pulled up slightly revealing half of rear end:

"Third quarter'

Pants pulled up slightly revealing sliver of rear end:

"Waning crescent'

Pants pulled up all the way:

"New Moon' he shouted triumphantly!

A star is born.

A Rose by any other name...

The Bunny Rabbit came home last week with a very red and

swollen cheek - it looked exactly like he had been slapped - HARD.

I asked him what happened.

'Nothing'.

I felt his cheek. It was hot - feverishly hot.

I felt his forehead.

Cool as a cucumber.

He had been developing a rash on the rest of his yummy body

which did not itch. Now this boy is as white as they come.

A rash on his Irish complexion looks like Scarlet Fever.

Armed with this information I began searching the web.

Lemme see 'rash on face and body'

Nope.

'no itch rash'

um, wait!

'rash like slapped cheek on boy'

Eureka!

The Fifth Disease otherwise known as Slapped-Cheek Disease.

Are you kidding me?

These doctors/scientists are (hopefully) some of our most brilliant minds.

They pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for their education.

We entrust our very lives with them and, most importantly, our children's lives.

And all they can effing come up with is Fifth Disease?

or

Slapped Cheek Disease?

What is up with that?

Once upon a time I was in Savannah GA for a wedding and was eating some animal Crackers from the gift basket in my room. My very sore tooth simply crumbled apart.

I was waiting for the white hot lightning strike to my nerve and lo and behold my tooth felt better. Which was a relief as I had a wedding to attend in a city that was not my own on a Saturday. Unless there was a dentist in attendance I would have been S. O. L.

When I returned home I went in to see my dentist and was told I had Cracked Tooth Syndrome.

That's right.

Cracked Tooth Syndrome.

Oh. Come. On. People!

Does years of schooling just kill the creative side of the brain?

Are their jobs so demanding that they don't have any imagination left?

Can they even make up a bedtime story for their little munchins?

Or lie about why all of the cookies are gone?

Now I know that I am a designer so I may have set my expectations a little high but just check out how the other half lives. [The other half being all of the Right Brain people such as myself.]

We may not be able to make a diagnosis but we can come up with some fairly spectacular names if given half a chance [and perhaps several margaritas].

Let us consider paint color names - the pinnacle of creativity in naming [and perhaps alcoholism].

Let's see there is:

Not Enough Chocolate Syrup Mom - who doesn't know exactly what that is? And yet it is totally creative.

Atomic Vomit Green - a Nickelodeon inspired green - who doesn't want to tell the neighbors THAT name?

Then there is Ralph Lauren's Brazilian Ruby which apparently is referring to a certain sensitive skin area color after a certain procedure is performed.

So I wonder... Ralph - are you running hardwoods?

My very favorites are the totally ambiguous ones that could be any freaking color:

Grandma's Refrigerator - guess that would depend on your or her age, or if they are talking about the insides or the outsides. This happens to be yellow.

Inheritance - which is NOT the color of money.

Japanese Maze, Fragrant Cloud [I imagine some foul green colored cartoon cloud coming right out of someone's arse], Precocious, Forever Young, Simply Irresistible, Urban Legend, Leap of Faith [who would use this color?], Temptation, Marry Me, and Beautiful In My Eyes [clearly hideous in anyone elses].

Kind of tells a life story doesn't it?

There is even a paint game test because, really, I ask you - who knows what color the Martian Sky is unless you've been there?

Or your margarita pitcher is empty.

The Wild Rumpus was

SAD!

The Bunny got restless and didn't make it through the whole movie.

He said it was boring.

The Dolly snuggled up under my arm and held my hand.

She said it was violent.

And me?

I cried...

Fantasy for five, please

The Bunny Rabbit and the Dolly Llama have discovered the pleasures of the local library.You can go in there and get books for free! They had never seen such a wondrous thing.

Several days ago I took the Bunny alone because Dolly had a previous engagement (oh, the social life of a seven year old). He was looking for a book about Alien Invasions. Not nearly the expert he had hoped for I enlisted the help of one of the librarians. She took us over to a section where we saws books about planets and solar systems and universes.

The Bunny was unmoved.

She took us to another section that had child friendly fiction about E.T.-esque books.

Again.

Then Bunny was less than impressed.

Eventually I sent the librarian away thanking her for her time.

Finally I got to the bottom of all this...

'Mom, I want a book about REAL Alien Invasions with photos.'

Mommy and Daddy were just exercising

We just returned from our annual pilgrimage to Minnesota

for the clan family reunion.

The weather was not what a Minnesotan might call ideal lake

weather but for this southern crew it was pure bliss.

Nights were down in the 50's and days varied by the hour but I

don't think ever tipped in to the 80's.

Oh, to sleep with windows open and hear the loons. Heaven.

Due to the weather there was some TV watching going on.

One late afternoon The Bunny and some of his male cousins

were watching and a public service commercial came on that

mentioned the word sex several times. There was a lot of

snickering going on in that room every time the word was

uttered.

Finally the Bunny piped up,

'Why do they keep saying sex so much?

Why don't they ever just call it fitness?!?'

Julia I ain't

My cooking mojo appears to have left me forever once

those twins came back from the hospital with me.

Last night as I wandered the kitchen aimlessly I casually

mentioned to the Bunny,

'you kids are going to have to start cooking for yourselves'

'seriously?'

'yep! I'm done - all out of ideas'

'I got two words for you Mommy. Cereal and milk!'

Let me exspleen...

The Dolly and the Bunny started their all-day summer camp

this week. Much to everyone's relief there are several kids

they know in it.

The program (which is through the recreation department)

is pretty good - they play games, do arts and crafts and

swim everyday. And the price is right.

We were reviewing their day tonight at dinner. The Bunny was

explaining how he fell on the basketball court and re-scraped

a recent skate boarding injury. He put on a brave face in

front of all of those kids and didn't cry but he did get a little

blood on his shorts [he informed me proudly].

And then.

'This one kid fell right on his elbow' [he pointed helpfully to

his] 'and his spleen fell out!'

One long date

Gapetto and I, the chilrun and the outlaws went to the beach 

last week. The Redneck Riveria some call it and who am I 

to argue with that?

Seriously I saw 2 women, each at a different convenience store 

who were straight out of Central Casting for the Wicked Witch 

of The West. Both were sweet but Mercy Me had they been 

hit with the Witch Stick. Missing teeth, warts with LONG hairs,

you get the picture.

The outlaws gave us a pass one night and Gapetto and I had 

a bona fide date. We ate at Fishbone which was really good.

Laughed so hard we cried. It was nice to reconnect on the

date level.

When we came back the Dolly and the Bunny were still up.

[We are crazy late-nighters, I know.]

'Mommy, you are back already!'

'Yes Dolly.'

'Did you come back to see me?'

'Yes Dolly.'

'That's nice Mommy. Besides, you and Daddy are married and 

that is like being on one long date.'

'Yes Dolly.'