After my heart

The Bunny: Mom, you're like one of the best mom's.


Me: How's that Honey?


The Bunny: 'Cause you're like exciting and crazy!

the all great and powerful Oz

I know that women have been making babies 

since the beginning of time...

Bryan

The Bunny Rabbit

The Dolly Llama

but sometimes I look at these beautiful beings

and I think

you know I really nailed this thing...

Soaking it in 01.29.11

This exchange of mornings along with my excitement 

about focusing my creative energies on interiors has reopened my eyes

(I guess I switched my focus some time ago?)

I look for the beauty in everyday things like I did as a young designer

 apples and cherries

preparing a relaxing bath

I love the light streaming through the shutters 

of my bathroom in the morning

my beautiful new interiors book 

along with the requisite Elle Decors

surprise! 

my toes are always hidden in warm socks and warm shoes 

or warm (and worn) slippers

I'd forgotten that the Dolly painted my nails a few days ago

always by my side

as long as she is sure she will not be bathed

not alone anymore

the Dolly getting ready for a birthday sleepover today

she is beyond excited

quiet moments are planned then dashed

privacy is a thing of the past

this is the reality of being a mother

and I soak it all in

About last night

The Bunny Rabbit seems to be going through some boundary stretching exercises.


He gets into his share of trouble because he has an attention span of about a nano second. But he is sweet and loving and really a very good boy at heart.


We have been talking about his moods lately. He seems to think everyone is out to get him. And he is argumentative and questions authority (me) which doesn't sit well with Momma.


Yesterday his teacher took me aside to tell me of his behavior at school.


Same story.


So last night Gapetto and I had a Big Talk with him.


First we assured him that we love him. Then we asked him if anything is bothering him.


Then we asked if he was frustrated. He allowed that he was but was unable to put it into words.


We proceeded with the rest.


Respect. Obedience. Being kind. Doing as you are told. How you might handle things differently.


He began to cry and said everyone was getting him into trouble.


We talked about owning your own actions. About doing the right thing. About thinking independently of your friends.


We hugged and this Mommy was misty eyed.


An hour or so later I saw him alone in the den.


I went in to hug him and I told him I loved him again.


He looked me straight in the eye and asked a little peevishly,


'What were we TALKING ABOUT in there?'

My Little Holiday Helpers

THIS is what my holidays are all about!

A Rose by any other name...

The Bunny Rabbit came home last week with a very red and

swollen cheek - it looked exactly like he had been slapped - HARD.

I asked him what happened.

'Nothing'.

I felt his cheek. It was hot - feverishly hot.

I felt his forehead.

Cool as a cucumber.

He had been developing a rash on the rest of his yummy body

which did not itch. Now this boy is as white as they come.

A rash on his Irish complexion looks like Scarlet Fever.

Armed with this information I began searching the web.

Lemme see 'rash on face and body'

Nope.

'no itch rash'

um, wait!

'rash like slapped cheek on boy'

Eureka!

The Fifth Disease otherwise known as Slapped-Cheek Disease.

Are you kidding me?

These doctors/scientists are (hopefully) some of our most brilliant minds.

They pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for their education.

We entrust our very lives with them and, most importantly, our children's lives.

And all they can effing come up with is Fifth Disease?

or

Slapped Cheek Disease?

What is up with that?

Once upon a time I was in Savannah GA for a wedding and was eating some animal Crackers from the gift basket in my room. My very sore tooth simply crumbled apart.

I was waiting for the white hot lightning strike to my nerve and lo and behold my tooth felt better. Which was a relief as I had a wedding to attend in a city that was not my own on a Saturday. Unless there was a dentist in attendance I would have been S. O. L.

When I returned home I went in to see my dentist and was told I had Cracked Tooth Syndrome.

That's right.

Cracked Tooth Syndrome.

Oh. Come. On. People!

Does years of schooling just kill the creative side of the brain?

Are their jobs so demanding that they don't have any imagination left?

Can they even make up a bedtime story for their little munchins?

Or lie about why all of the cookies are gone?

Now I know that I am a designer so I may have set my expectations a little high but just check out how the other half lives. [The other half being all of the Right Brain people such as myself.]

We may not be able to make a diagnosis but we can come up with some fairly spectacular names if given half a chance [and perhaps several margaritas].

Let us consider paint color names - the pinnacle of creativity in naming [and perhaps alcoholism].

Let's see there is:

Not Enough Chocolate Syrup Mom - who doesn't know exactly what that is? And yet it is totally creative.

Atomic Vomit Green - a Nickelodeon inspired green - who doesn't want to tell the neighbors THAT name?

Then there is Ralph Lauren's Brazilian Ruby which apparently is referring to a certain sensitive skin area color after a certain procedure is performed.

So I wonder... Ralph - are you running hardwoods?

My very favorites are the totally ambiguous ones that could be any freaking color:

Grandma's Refrigerator - guess that would depend on your or her age, or if they are talking about the insides or the outsides. This happens to be yellow.

Inheritance - which is NOT the color of money.

Japanese Maze, Fragrant Cloud [I imagine some foul green colored cartoon cloud coming right out of someone's arse], Precocious, Forever Young, Simply Irresistible, Urban Legend, Leap of Faith [who would use this color?], Temptation, Marry Me, and Beautiful In My Eyes [clearly hideous in anyone elses].

Kind of tells a life story doesn't it?

There is even a paint game test because, really, I ask you - who knows what color the Martian Sky is unless you've been there?

Or your margarita pitcher is empty.

Let me exspleen...

The Dolly and the Bunny started their all-day summer camp

this week. Much to everyone's relief there are several kids

they know in it.

The program (which is through the recreation department)

is pretty good - they play games, do arts and crafts and

swim everyday. And the price is right.

We were reviewing their day tonight at dinner. The Bunny was

explaining how he fell on the basketball court and re-scraped

a recent skate boarding injury. He put on a brave face in

front of all of those kids and didn't cry but he did get a little

blood on his shorts [he informed me proudly].

And then.

'This one kid fell right on his elbow' [he pointed helpfully to

his] 'and his spleen fell out!'

One long date

Gapetto and I, the chilrun and the outlaws went to the beach 

last week. The Redneck Riveria some call it and who am I 

to argue with that?

Seriously I saw 2 women, each at a different convenience store 

who were straight out of Central Casting for the Wicked Witch 

of The West. Both were sweet but Mercy Me had they been 

hit with the Witch Stick. Missing teeth, warts with LONG hairs,

you get the picture.

The outlaws gave us a pass one night and Gapetto and I had 

a bona fide date. We ate at Fishbone which was really good.

Laughed so hard we cried. It was nice to reconnect on the

date level.

When we came back the Dolly and the Bunny were still up.

[We are crazy late-nighters, I know.]

'Mommy, you are back already!'

'Yes Dolly.'

'Did you come back to see me?'

'Yes Dolly.'

'That's nice Mommy. Besides, you and Daddy are married and 

that is like being on one long date.'

'Yes Dolly.'

Penises and powerlessness...

Spring break is over - praise the Lord and pass 

the mescaline! The Bunny Rabbit and The Dolly 

Llama were wearing each other out - way too much 

togetherness. And frankly they were about on my 

last nerve.

They were bickering and telling on each other and 

generally just being really sick of each others face. 

I heard them squabbling the other day and the Dolly 

ran in to tell on the Bunny.

‘Mommy? The Bunny kicked me in the penis.’

‘You don’t have a penis Dolly.’

[pregnant pause]

We all dissolve into laughter...

Perhaps a brief anatomy lesson would be in order?

                                  * * * * *

Friday night I saw The Old Crow Medicine Show at 

The Fabulous Fox Theater in Atlanta with The Husband 

Understudy. It was as raucous and rowdy and down-home-

kick-arse-show as you ever want to see. I’ve been all 

‘y’all’ and ‘fixin’ to’ and ‘your mom-n-’em’ ever since.

                                  * * * * *

We’ve been having some VERY irratic weather here 

in The Deep South - I know y’all Up North are feeling 

extra sorry for me but we often get all four seasons 

every week. Occasionally we get weather that we are 

clearly not meant to be getting. Back in the early 90’s 

we got a hurricane through here and we are at least a 

five or six hour drive from the ocean any way you slice 

it. And I drive pretty fast. I lost all power for one week. 

Seems a big ole tree tangled with some powerlines and 

phone lines, tore the lines apart and made a fierce 

little electrical fire. I could see the white light where 

the live wire lay on the ground from 10 houses away. 

There were little fires all along the wires strung between 

the poles. I walked by the spot the next day where the 

heat had turned the sand on the ground to glass. 

Now THAT is something you don’t see every day. 

Unless you are a glass blower. Even then I expect 

you’d have a day off here and there.

Lately we’ve been having some humdinger storms. 

Wind and drenching rains and thunder and lightening. 

So much rain they say our drought is over. Problem 

with earth soaking rains and powerful gusts of winds 

after a drought is trees tend to up and tip over. 

BIG trees. OAK TREES.

Our neighbors tree tipped over smack dab on some power 

lines and a utility pole today. The utility pole snapped in 

two, the guy wire broke in the middle, all of that mess 

smashed 3 out of 4 of their next door neighbors cars and 

left a chunk of us without power. Apparently this happened 

all over the city.

Needless to say I am writing this by candlelight on a 

battery operated computer. I guess we’ll be getting power 

back sometime tomorrow. Until then I will be lulled to 

sleep by the neighbors LOUD ancient generator and the 

constant traffic being redirected to our street on account 

of the downed trees and power lines over on the main road. 

And I will be in seclusion - I am nothing without my blow dryer...

Power was restored sometime in the middle of the night...

Died and gone to Whoville?

It is spring break in the Deep South...

The number on the caller ID was Grammy and Poppy's 

so no formal work greeting was necessary.

'Hello'

'Mommy, when are you going to come home? 

The Bunny is mad that you haven't come home yet'

'I don't know Dolly - you knew I had to work today'

But when are you going to come home? 

The Bunny is mad and I am mad and really sad!

'I'll be home soon Dolly'

20 minutes later...

'Who's mad. And who's sad? You should be glad!'

Hugs and kisses all around.

My little girl

She sat in the armchair by the sliding glass doors 

watching and waiting. A look of concern darkening 

her usually happy face.

Bryan and his girlfriend had arrived that evening 

and Alexis had received a phone call about her 

grandfather - he was likely to die at any time. 

Alexis' eyes had teared up and she left out the sliding 

glass door no doubt for some alone time to collect 

herself and have a smoke away where the children 

wouldn't see her.

Dolly waited.

When she came back Dolly gave her one of her 

signature tree frog hugs - legs wrapped around her 

waist and arms thrown tightly around her neck.

Saturday Bryan and Alexis stayed behind while we 

shopped in downtown Disney. The Twinkies free 

birthday passes also came with $63 Disney Dollars 

a piece. Gapetto and the Bunny went one direction 

and the Dolly and I headed off for jewelry.

We looked and looked and added up different things, 

then we looked some more. I thought perhaps she 

just couldn't get over the hump of actually spending 

any of it so I was talking to her about how much 

I knew she REALLY wanted the charm bracelet. 

She quietly led me off in another direction.

Finally we added up her things: one charm bracelet 

and four additional charms, one pink Disney watch 

and a light green necklace with a big 'crystal' jem 

on it - exactly $63. [I threw in the tax money.]

I put the charms on her bracelet and hooked it on 

her wrist, I pulled out the watch and did the same. 

She began to close up the box and put it away.

'Dolly don't you want to wear your pretty necklace?'

She shook her head no.

'It's for Alexis.'

How I love that little girl.

Disney: in the middle

I LOVE this photo.

I am in the front following my bliss...

The Bunny is next to me TOTALLY in to it.

[After every wild ride we get the requisite

'That was AWESOME!!!']

The Dolly is behind him Screaming. In. Terror. 

Gapetto is beside her sort of hidden but happy. 

Grammy has her whole face slammed shut 

and Poppy is just beginning to react.

Here are my babies last night at the Polynesian -

great place for viewing fireworks.

And to REALLY inject some birthday bliss

Bryan and his girlfriend arrived tonight.

Happy 7th birthday (tomorrow) little lovies! 

Take another little piece of my heart

The Dolly Llama, Bryan and the Bunny Rabbit.